Once upon a time you were only a distant dream, a memory from the hidden corners in my head that I could barely piece together. For a while it felt like you didn’t exist. You were simply a shadow in my wall I confided to before going to sleep. You didn’t consume every part of my being and turned me into a monster I only kept in my closet when I was a kid.
Once upon a time he was my forever. I thought love was about waiting and promises exchanged in a series of text messages. We’ve had conversations past midnight and could even talk about anything else that would pass our minds. But whenever we meet in person, we only had silence. Turns out, text conversations are only good for moments that you have to think about, not for someone who thrives in something spontaneous and golden. He told me to say something once or twice, but I couldn’t think of anything. We simply had nothing to talk about, and I stared blankly into the space that was before me and wished I disappeared alongside it.
The next day, he found somebody else, someone who could tell him things that he wished to hear.
Once upon a time I had friends. I had someone who would make up scenarios in her head, just to see if someone cares enough to listen. It is through her where I learned that friendships aren’t forever and some people, are merely passerby’s in your life and none of them are meant to stay. It is quite a pity, since I turned my heart into her home and in the end, she wanted none of what I had to offer.
Once upon a time people around me were falling apart. Some hearts that were stored for too long in cages were finally set free. Others threw away their keys. I only had to watch and wait patiently for the skies to swallow me. I thought I would fly, that I would be saved.
I didn’t. I wasn’t.
Once upon a time there was a girl filled with passion and fire, and every so often, she would burn her way through my lungs and tie together words in a way that would touch others. She would sit by herself and be comforted by her own presence, her own silence. She was at still with happiness.
The longer she lived, the more she died.
Once upon a time I wrote a letter and stashed it inside a bottle and threw it away into the sea. I watched it become smaller and smaller into a speck of dust as the ocean tries to swallow it with each roaring wave. I watched it disappear into the horizon and I hoped it would never come back to me untouched. Until now, I’m hoping for someone to read it and understand.
I never got a reply.