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    Diary, Life

    Life Lately: September, October, November

    instagram @caraopana

    instagram @caraopana

    One, Two, Three.

    I’ve been doing quite a bit of reading for the past couple of weeks. It’s my only way to cope after going through a rather long reading slump. I’m trying to catch up on my hopes for reading at least 40 books this year. So far I think I’m at 20 (?).  I never know, I’m too lazy to update my goodreads.

    Four.

    Dressed up as Wednesday Addams this year for Halloween. I was supposed to go as No-Face (in other news, an adorable 2-year old beat me to it) but I had work that day and we weren’t allowed to dress up as anything “too scary” or “too provocative”. Next year, I’m hoping to have a Studio Ghibli-themed family cosplay with me, Jaime and our dog, Pancakes.

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    Diary, Life

    A life of unsteadiness and stillness

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    paperantlers.net

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    Lanikai Pillbox Hike, Oahu (2016)

    I have to be completely honest here – I have no idea what I’m doing in my life. Looking back at the past couple of years it feels like I drifted off from one day to the next, taking circumstances as it is and always hoping that somehow, whatever happens, it was what’s best. It’s one of the reasons I have tried to cut off my browsing through blogs and Instagram feeds – the whole thing of people (seemingly) inspiring others to go for their dreams and find their life’s purpose because it’s been working for them somehow became rather toxic; I, too, wanted to exert passion and effort into what I love and get so much in return… except I have no idea what it is.

    My fear of failure slowly turned into fear of wanting to do so many things that I might not end up doing all of them. I am far too limited, too small for all that I want to do. Read more

    Diary, Life

    It’s here! Z Poetry: An Anthology

    paperantlers.net

    paperantlers.net

    Hello there. I know I haven’t been on here for a handful of months (I’ve had severe cases of writer’s block caused by too much stress from work) but I promise I’ll make it up soon. Jaime just finished his vacation here for a week and I have tons to write about it. I can’t wait to tell you guys some stories.

    In the mean time, I do have something to announce. It’s been cooking up for months now and I can now finally say it – I’ve been chosen as one of the writers featured in this anthology from Z Poetry. Three of my pieces are published in this book: Lost Habits, An Open Letter to Loneliness, and This Is How You Fly. I still can’t believe I’m chosen to be a part of this project. The anthology composes of many beautiful writings from poets all over the world and I’m happy my works get to be featured amongst them.

    Thank you to Zach Zimmerman for making this happen and thank you to those who have always believed in me and my writing. I hope to have more confidence and strength in sharing my words with you and the world.

    You can now purchase it through Amazon (Ebook and Book version) in here
    and Smashwords in here.


    If you have purchased the book on Amazon, I’d love for you to write a review about the book and my writing. Let me know if you have sent in a review!

    Diary, Life

    Life Lately: April & May

    instagram @paperantlers

    One.

    Hawaii summer blooms are all around, despite slight drizzle that we’ve been having every now and then lately. The weather these past few days has been so lovely.

    Two.

    Work-wise. I got promoted (!!!!) and was transferred in a different department, from Trend Accessories to Sunglasses. I’m still under the same manager; I feel lucky to be mentored by her, honestly. Aside from sales, I’m now a Designer Sunglass Specialist. It’s still a lot to take in. I’ve been busy, from studying products and merchandising of a lot of brands to taking small steps outside of my comfort zone in managing a team. It’s a lot of information to learn in a short matter of time, and of course with the new title comes more responsibilities. I’ve been telling Jaime that perhaps I need to brush on my leadership/coaching and that I should probably meditate a lot more often because the thought of failing at the position is giving me so much anxiety that I can actually feel that I’m a wreck. Read more

    Short Story, Things I Learned, Writing

    The Wrong Kind of Serendipity

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    Her

    I told my older sister once, I may be one of those who could be in love with two people at once. She laughed and said, it’s probably because I am in love with love itself. In fact, I fall half-in love with almost everyone I meet.

    It’s quite true though. F. Scott Fitzgerald once said, “There are all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice.” I didn’t get it before, the first time I read his words years and years ago. But now that I’ve gotten older, I want to slap myself for foolishly thinking that out of billions of souls in the world, there could only be one who’s meant for you. It’s not fair, really. Because I finally knew what Scott meant when he said those words, and I knew it so clearly I could see it burn through the back of my hand and pulse its way through my wrists and settle through my veins: love exists in many different forms. And whether or not we’re meant for one person in the entirety of the universe, we can have more than one soulmate in our life time. Not every soulmate has to be romantic. Read more