Diary, Life

    It’s here! Z Poetry: An Anthology

    Hello there. I know I haven’t been on here for a handful of months (I’ve had severe cases of writer’s block caused by too much stress from work) but I promise I’ll make it up soon. Jaime just finished his vacation here for a week and I have tons to write about it. I can’t wait to tell you guys some stories.

    In the mean time, I do have something to announce. It’s been cooking up for months now and I can now finally say it – I’ve been chosen as one of the writers featured in this anthology from Z Poetry. Three of my pieces are published in this book: Lost Habits, An Open Letter to Loneliness, and This Is How You Fly. I still can’t believe I’m chosen to be a part of this project. The anthology composes of many beautiful writings from poets all over the world and I’m happy my works get to be featured amongst them.

    Thank you to Zach Zimmerman for making this happen and thank you to those who have always believed in me and my writing. I hope to have more confidence and strength in sharing my words with you and the world.

    You can now purchase it through Amazon (Ebook and Book version) in here
    and Smashwords in here.

    If you have purchased the book on Amazon, I’d love for you to write a review about the book and my writing. Let me know if you have sent in a review!

    Diary, Life

    Life Lately: April & May

    instagram @paperantlers


    Hawaii summer blooms are all around, despite slight drizzle that we’ve been having every now and then lately. The weather these past few days has been so lovely.


    Work-wise. I got promoted (!!!!) and was transferred in a different department, from Trend Accessories to Sunglasses. I’m still under the same manager; I feel lucky to be mentored by her, honestly. Aside from sales, I’m now a Designer Sunglass Specialist. It’s still a lot to take in. I’ve been busy, from studying products and merchandising of a lot of brands to taking small steps outside of my comfort zone in managing a team. It’s a lot of information to learn in a short matter of time, and of course with the new title comes more responsibilities. I’ve been telling Jaime that perhaps I need to brush on my leadership/coaching and that I should probably meditate a lot more often because the thought of failing at the position is giving me so much anxiety that I can actually feel that I’m a wreck. Read more

    Short Story, Things I Learned, Writing

    The Wrong Kind of Serendipity



    I told my older sister once, I may be one of those who could be in love with two people at once. She laughed and said, it’s probably because I am in love with love itself. In fact, I fall half-in love with almost everyone I meet.

    It’s quite true though. F. Scott Fitzgerald once said, “There are all kinds of love in this world but never the same love twice.” I didn’t get it before, the first time I read his words years and years ago. But now that I’ve gotten older, I want to slap myself for foolishly thinking that out of billions of souls in the world, there could only be one who’s meant for you. It’s not fair, really. Because I finally knew what Scott meant when he said those words, and I knew it so clearly I could see it burn through the back of my hand and pulse its way through my wrists and settle through my veins: love exists in many different forms. And whether or not we’re meant for one person in the entirety of the universe, we can have more than one soulmate in our life time. Not every soulmate has to be romantic. Read more


    Unfinished Story // 2

    It was dark and it was raining and if it were a different circumstance in a possible different universe, you would’ve hated it. But you were in this one – the realest one – and you both were laughing and running and for a split second, nothing else mattered. You think to yourself, if you could spend the rest of your life just laughing like this, raindrops kissing your cheeks, not caring about the inevitable morning that lies ahead, and the next ones after that, then it wouldn’t be so bad at all. The whole world seems so much brighter despite the rain.

    But even though her smile reminds you of the way flowers turn to the sun in spring and she smells like frail hope and a splash of promise, even though she is here and she is laughing and she is real – it’s quite funny how close someone could be to you and yet there is so much distance. You can feel it, as the skies cried and the wind gets harsher, that she would someday pull away. So when she looks at you, millions of words unsaid, hanging above you both in a trail of what if’s, it all shatters down and falls around you with the pouring rain.

    Because there was no other reality that existed besides this – you love her, but she belonged to someone else. And when she hugs you her last goodbye, you wished, in that second, that there could be thousands of other moments just like this. You wished time would stop, like it would’ve happened in movies, just so you could hold on to this – to her – just a bit longer. But reality only lets you have two seconds at most, and it was completely unfair, and when she walks away you stand there, frozen, helplessly staring at the empty space that stretches farther and farther between you and her.

    There was nothing else, but the rain.

    Read more


    I Only Have Beginnings

    Once upon a time you were only a distant dream, a memory from the hidden corners in my head that I could barely piece together. For a while it felt like you didn’t exist. You were simply a shadow in my wall I confided to before going to sleep. You didn’t consume every part of my being and turned me into a monster I only kept in my closet when I was a kid.

    Once upon a time he was my forever. I thought love was about waiting and promises exchanged in a series of text messages. We’ve had conversations past midnight and could even talk about anything else that would pass our minds. But whenever we meet in person, we only had silence. Turns out, text conversations are only good for moments that you have to think about, not for someone who thrives in something spontaneous and golden. He told me to say something once or twice, but I couldn’t think of anything. We simply had nothing to talk about, and I stared blankly into the space that was before me and wished I disappeared alongside it.

    The next day, he found somebody else, someone who could tell him things that he wished to hear.

    Once upon a time I had friends. I had someone who would make up scenarios in her head, just to see if someone cares enough to listen. It is through her where I learned that friendships aren’t forever and some people, are merely passerby’s in your life and none of them are meant to stay. It is quite a pity, since I turned my heart into her home and in the end, she wanted none of what I had to offer.

    Once upon a time people around me were falling apart. Some hearts that were stored for too long in cages were finally set free. Others threw away their keys. I only had to watch and wait patiently for the skies to swallow me. I thought I would fly, that I would be saved.

    I didn’t. I wasn’t.

    Once upon a time there was a girl filled with passion and fire, and every so often, she would burn her way through my lungs and tie together words in a way that would touch others. She would sit by herself and be comforted by her own presence, her own silence. She was at still with happiness.

    The longer she lived, the more she died.

    Once upon a time I wrote a letter and stashed it inside a bottle and threw it away into the sea. I watched it become smaller and smaller into a speck of dust as the ocean tries to swallow it with each roaring wave. I watched it disappear into the horizon and I hoped it would never come back to me untouched. Until now, I’m hoping for someone to read it and understand.

    I never got a reply.